It all started one day as I was sitting in PicMed (A lab facility, with nurse practitioners instead of actual doctors) waiting for a TB test for one of my jobs. I look over to their info wall and see an advertisement for HCG. I thought that was it, this was my easy way out, I was finally going to lose all the weight, and I was going to do it before my wedding! So I immediately set up an appt for the following week. Ben and I went to the appt, and were told about all the amazing effects HCG has, and all the awesome testimonies of the people who were on it. I was so excited I could have cried. Then they took a look at my file, and saw I had a history of bloodclots. Since HCG is a hormone related to pregnancy, they would not allow me to start it. That crushed me so bad I actually did cry. They said though that if I diet and exercise I could still make my goals. So I decided to continue with them on a different (substantially less expensive) program. Every week I would weigh in, and every month they would re-take my measurements. Then all of a sudden October rolls around, and I'm 40lbs lighter!! I'd like to pass on some encouragement and tidbits that I feel are the most influential to my weight loss.
The thing with the most substantial impact I learned from my husband.
After about a month on the plan, counting calories, exercising, goal setting, Ben and I went out to eat for the first time to test the waters. by this time I believe I had lost about 8-12lbs, a noble start, but nowhere near where I wanted to be. Since my stomach had shrunk from not eating as much we decided to split a meal. I was having a hard time even with my half, when Ben noticed he said the the 8 most simple and life changing words. "You know, you don't have to finish that." My heart almost stopped. As a kid I don't know how many times I heard "finish everything on your plate" even being apart of the "clean plate club" became a joke. Now here I am 20 years later manifesting what was so ingrained in me. I was obviously way passed the point of eating, but I had to "clear my plate". Ben's words hit me deeper than I think even her realized, and has changed me ever since.
I say that this is the most substantial revelation, because after I stopped eating when my body (not my head) said stop the pounds just melted off. were talking like serious weightlossage! It's funny, even to this day I feel that same habit coming up, and sometimes I have to just drop the fork, or sometimes I need intervention. It's always good to have a support partner with you that can pull the plate away from you when you've had a little too much.
Another tidbit: Food is nourishment, not a hobby, or a crutch.
I like food a lot, Food is very delicious, Food is an invaluable resource. It can either make you feel fantastic, or real crappy. How many times have you been sitting in front of the tv and all of the sudden a bowl of _______ (fill in the blank) appears! Before you know it the whole bowl is gone, and you are alone. Oh yea, been there way more times then I'd care to admit. Next time, before you grab that bowl think about what you're doing. If the show is really that good do you want to distract yourself with food? Or, why would you want to sit an mindlessly eat food you're too distracted to enjoy? Seriously, these things add up. Once I began to see food as nourishment only I stopped using it when I was sad, mad, stressed, and turned to more constructive things.
Any exercise is better than no exercise.
I know that I gained this weight by eating and sitting, so it just made sense to me that in order to lose the weight I needed reduce intake and get up. It was hard at first. I had injured my knee when I decided that at 300lbs it would be a good idea to start ballet, so I couldn't run, or do anything with too much impact. So I started walking. 10 minutes a day at first then gradually up to 30 min. Then, I just started walking 2 miles a day. It's amazing what baby steps can do. I went from 10 min a day, to 2 miles! It took time, but man it was worth it. Sure, there were days where I didn't feel like moving, being too tired, too sore, too busy, too______. That is again where intervention came in. I don't know how many times Ben drove all the way across Tulsa just to come over and take me on a walk. Support partner FTW!!
Other than walking I think the biggest impact exercise made was when I was at work. I have a job that requires sitting and staring, and that's all I would do 20-30 hours a week. Get up at 4:40am to go sit and stare at half dressed people getting their sweat on it the pool. So I got up off the guard stand, and started walking around, doing jumping jacks, squats, arm circles, any exercise that allowed me to stay focused on the pool. Did people around me think I was silly? Probably, but the only people who ever said anything were the people that fully supported what I was doing for myself, and fully supported me not falling asleep like every other morning guard. little things equal big change!!
I didn't get fat overnight, neither will I get skinny
Another thing I had to remember was that I didn't gain 130lbs of excess body fat over night, so it's unrealistic to expect me to lose it just as quick. During one particular weigh in, I was a little distressed to find that I had only lost 20lbs in a one months time... 20lbs IN A MONTH WITH ONLY DIET AND EXERCISE!!!! I should have been rejoicing!! but no, I was at a pity party because I thought it should have been more. Once again my support partner steps in and saves the day. after we left the office Ben said. "it is normal to lose 2lbs a week, you did better than that" I told him I wanted to quit cause I worked my butt off (literally) and I wasn't getting anywhere. That is when he lovingly reminded me that progress is still progress, and even though I wasn't meeting my own unrealistic expectations, I was still moving forward, and had lost waaay more weight than if I had never started. I think to myself...Oh yea, that's why I'm marrying you...
What's the real reason
Weight loss is futile if you don't have your reasons in mind. Why do you want to lose weight? I can tell you right now that "cause I want to be beautiful" is the wrong answer. The second the road gets hard, and you feel gross, you'll throw it all it for the feeling you get when you eat a whole pint of ice cream during a movie marathon. Be real with yourself. Are you a candidate for diabetes? high blood pressure? Do you have a supreme lack of energy? Want to be at optimal health? These are all reasons that will keep you going right on past the cookie aisle. Write down your reasons and look at them from time to time. As an example, my reasons were that my whole family has diabetes, heart problems, and is obese. I see what they go through how obesity affects aging, how even a simple task like putting on socks is a struggle. Not me. I want to travel, to see the world, dance, run, play with my future babies. Not be in bed watching tv cause my back hurts.
Give yourself rewards
To remind yourself that what you are doing deserves recognition, reward yourself. Not with ice cream, or food, but things that mean something to you, and will help you on the way.
Example:
10lbs= New yoga mat
20lbs= New workout pants
30lbs= Got my hair done
40lbs= Bikini for the honeymoon
50lbs= $50.00 clothing spree
100lbs= $100.00 shopping spree
I'll have to make more goals it seems like!
You are worth a 1/2 hour a day
This was sound advice from a nurse practitioner that I particularly like. She asked me one session how my exercise was coming along. I told her that since I had just moved, and was working on my house, moving in plus working full time, I didn't have much time left for exercise. She told me something that no one else ever had, and changed my life. She told me that I was worth at least 30 minutes a day. She said that women like us tend to give and give, but if we don't invest in ourselves, we're gonna dry up. Trust me, you are not helping anyone by pushing yourself to the limit! Whether you need to get up 30 min earlier, or give something up in your day, you need to invest time in yourself, no one else can do it for you.
There were so many factors, and people who have helped me through this first 40lbs, and so much more that I could say about the process, but I think the most important overriding factor in this whole journey has been the strength given to me by my Heavenly Father. My God is so big that he created the whole world, yet still takes the time to talk with me, and help me through the times that I just really want another donut. He gives me the strength to say no to sugar, and yes to an extra 10 minutes of cardio. He see into the hearts of every person, yet my omnipresent papa cares enough about me to carry me through. He blesses me above and beyond what I could ever imagine, and is there for me in the most intimate ways when I feel like giving up. Ben is a fantastic support partner, but he is nothing without the love, mercy, and grace from my God.
P.s. It took my about 2 hours to type this, so I'm sorry if my lack of grammar, punctuation, and editing offends anyone, I believe the message still stands.
